Daddy

Two years ago today, I decided to take my dad out for his 60th birthday. And I wanted to make it good. We didn't spend a whole lot of time together alone (my brother and dad were closer and I chatted and hung out with my mom more often), so I wanted to take him out on a "date". We went to the Keg for dinner and then went to see STOMP (a very cool show that you should definitely go see if you get the chance). We had a really good time.

Today, I am deeply greatful that we did that. Last year on January 7th, my dad passed away....20 days before his 61st birthday.

Today would've been his 62nd.

My Facebook status today is: "daddy, i went kickboxing for your birthday and kicked butt. you would be so proud. i miss you with all my heart."

And by the way - I did kick butt at kickboxing tonight. It was amaaaazing and I think about 3 of the instructors complimented me on my form and how hard and solid my punches were. I also went into the boxing ring to "fight" but this guy just had padding on his head and a few other areas, and just let us punch him and I HATED IT. I am WAY TOO NICE TO PUNCH PEOPLE. In fact, I only punched about 1/4 of how hard I really do throw 'em with that poor guy in the ring. I looked into his eyes and he looked so beat upon and I just...wow I could never be a boxer!

The only other time I actually punched a person was when I was playing soccer when I was about 7 years old. My dad was my coach, and this kid was teasing me (probably about being chubby, because that is pretty much the only thing kids bugged me about in those days). So I punched him. He went crying to his mommy (I hope he grew out of that!), and she came over and said to my dad (the Coach), "You better talk to your daughter". So my dad pulled me aside, bent down on his knee (cause I wasn't 5'11" then like I am now!), and "talked to his daughter". He said, "Good girl, Andrea!" I smile when I think about that because he ALWAYS wanted me to succeed, to stand up for myself, to be confident....to punch people when they deserved it.

My dad would also give us money and say, "Don't tell Mom". He was cute.

And that is how I feel tonight. I wanted to just honour him because I know that even though sometimes he and I butt heads, it was usually because he was telling me something I didn't want to hear but it was also usually him wanting to see me succeed. He just didn't always say it in the way that worked the best with me.

But....he wanted me to reach the stars, hold onto them, and let them carry me towards every single thing I ever desired in life: confidence, health, a thinner body, a husband and family, and music.

And now I am reaching for those stars. Sometimes it feels like a big stretch, but I'm doing it, and one day will grab hold of them. And I KNOW he'd be so proud. In fact, I think in heaven he's allowed to look down and see all of this...so let me rephrase and say that I KNOW HE IS PROUD.

He'd say, "Good girl, Andrey".

Happy birthday, Daddy. I love and miss you.

xo - andrea

Jeans, Water, Kickboxing, Music!

I have to admit...I feel good. I have had SO much support in the last few days since posting my initial blog that I am on a natural high!

I have 4 things I want to share tonight.

1. Jeans

I wore jeans for the FIRST TIME today in about...wow....I don't know...a few months! They have been too tight for too long and today I wore them! And they felt good! (I could actually breathe). I love that feeling. Can't wait til my "skinny jeans" fit in about 70 lbs from now haha.


2. Water

I bought a glass jug (rather than plastic...many plastics have harsh chemicals in them and therefore soak into your water and you drink the chemicals into your system) from a water place, and it has a really great spout on it, etc. They purify not only reverse osmosis water, but also alkaline. Apparently, the alkaline in the water balances your body's natural pH levels, so your body doesn't get acidic. Many people with diseases (such as cancer), have very acidic pH balances. So...if this is one more added thing that can get me to a healthier state, I'm game.

AND IT TASTES SOOO PURE AND DELICIOUS! And, after the initial cost of buying a water jug and stand (less than $100), it is only $4 to fill up the 11.5L jug. That is the same, or less, than the yucky water I usually bought at the grocery store.


3. Kickboxing

I've realized that working out gives me such a high. I never really felt it to this extent before...well, maybe I did, but I have just FORGOTTEN what it was like!!!....but after kickboxing last night, I just felt like I could take on the WORLD.

I SWEAR the instructor was mad at someone cause he worked us til there was nothing left in any of us. It felt awesome, though. I was still sore yesterday in class from FRIDAY'S class, and yesterday was Monday. I have a feeling, as long as I keep pushing myself, I'm going to be sore the whole year. LOL

Oh well - I'd rather be sore from working out than sore from having bad joints, clogged arteries, and heart/kidney/liver problems!!! (Not that I have those, but they are inevitable if I were to continue to gain weight).


4. Music

I also booked my first singing show in Toronto in a LONG while. I haven't sung in a show for so long, I wonder if I'll remember how haha. Singing at weddings (which I do often) is very different because it's more of a "background voice creating a romantic atmosphere". But this...I will be front and center, focus on andrea. Scary! But exciting. It's February 18th. So I have awhile to work on it before then!


Friday I will let you all know what I am eating. A couple of people thought I was starving myself, but I am far from that. A hint: I am eating very natural foods, portion-controlled, lots of veggies and fruit, nothing processed, and no sugar.

Friday, also, will be another "weigh-in" moment of truth, so I will let you know how much I weigh on Friday. Hopefully I will be on track with my 2 pounds per week (or more would be great!).

xo - andrea

Blog TWO: 2 Weeks Into It, and Feeling Good

"There will come a time when you believe that everything is finished. That will be the beginning." Louis L'Amour


Well, my dear friends, you probably just finished reading my first blog post. I wrote it two weeks ago, but just posted it tonight because I was waiting to get my pictures up with it!

Two weeks into my journey, and I am SO MUCH HAPPIER. I have lost 5 pounds and 9.5 inches off of my body! 3 of those inches were around my shoulders alone, and I KNOW WHY. It's because of boxing.

The first night that I boxed, I really did feel like I was going to pass out quite a few times. I knew my muscles could've been pushed farther, but my cardio had a long way to go (and oh my goodness, it still does!). Even in 2 weeks of going to the gym 3x a week, I can do MORE. I can push myself harder. And I don't really feel like I'm going to faint flat out on the floor as much. =) Which is definitely a nice feeling (to NOT have to faint).

I went out with a girlfriend tonight for coffee, and I said, "When I started eating really healthfully 3 years ago and lost 50 pounds (which I have more than gained back), the first week I lost 7 pounds. Now, it's been two weeks, and I've lost only 5". She said, "We're getting older". It's true...I think I'm realizing that it might be harder at 28 to lose weight than at 24-25. I'm in my LATE 20's now. NOT THAT I THINK I'M OLD! Cause I don't. But...I'm OLDER than I was last time I got healthy. Maybe she is right.

I haven't been perfect. There were a few days in there where I cheated. Definitely. So...maybe that has something to do with the lack of weight-loss, too. But 5 pounds in 2 weeks is still good, because I figure if I lose and keep off 2 pounds per WEEK this year, I will reach my goal of 100 pounds by the end of 2010! Whenever I would say that I only lost 2 pounds or that it was going to take a year to lose all the weight I needed to lose to be at a goal, my mom would say, "The time is going to pass by anyway....so you might as well be at your goal weight by the end of it instead of the same weight or more than you are now". I miss my mom. The hardest part of all of this, the toughest thing about doing anything exciting is that my mom and dad aren't here to share it with. I think they know, though...I can't imagine that in heaven they have just lost interest in what their kids (and grandkids) are doing here on earth.

I am also more excited about my music. I have been humming (no pun intended) and hawing about whether trying to "make it" in the music world was something I really wanted. But...I think I was selling myself short when I thought that I didn't want it. Part of me is just....scared. That I don't really know the music business enough, and that I could end up trying for years and not make it to where I want to be. HOWEVER.... MUSIC IS MY CALLING. (PS. If you want to check some of my music out, it's www.andreagal.ca) I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that as I continue on my journey to healthville (some awesome people live there hhaha), I will get progressively more confident, energetic, and excited about where my music is going, along with the image I am creating for myself within the music part of my life.

A story about my kickboxing instructor. He is a triple black-belt crazy kickboxing in-amazing-shape man. He is a slave driver. In fact, I'm surprised he doesn't have a whip! Or use his skipping rope as one, anyway! One night after class, I saw him at the grocery store, and he was all smiles and small-talk (I was happy I had apples and pears and water in my cart, not chips and chocolate and cookies). It's funny how you see different sides of people in different settings.

Each time I write a blog, I am going to give you a tip or a quote, and/or some "natural highs" (which are things I find in life to be absolutely wonderful, don't cost a penny, and you can smile about throughout a day)...something for you to hold onto. Today I'm going to give one of each. The tips are going to be my own personal findings....they aren't necessarily proven to be true (I'm just saying that for my own protection! lol)

TIP: If you buy boneless, skinless chicken breast in bulk, it is MUCH cheaper than at the grocery store. There is a place in my hometown where it is $4/lb and I bought 10 pounds of it last week. AS SOON AS I GOT HOME, I cut the impurities off, the little bits of extra fat, etc, and put them into SERVING SIZES in freezer bags, and into the freezer. This way, when I want to have chicken, I can thaw the perfect amount I need for 2 servings of protein, and I don't have to cut it at all...it's already done! It saves a lot of time and hassle during the week.

NATURAL HIGH: Closing your eyes and imagining yourself where you want to be in life: you look like you want to look, you feel how you want to feel, and you are happy, contended, excited, and successful. Do it now....

I need to do this more often. It has been hard, I will admit. It has been difficult to see the "good" in life this past year or so. But I believe the more the year progresses, as my journey continues and I continue to be successful in what I set my mind to, it will get easier to see that there are good things in store for me. And that good things CAN happen to me, not just to everyone else.

Okay - well, I have to get up for work quite early tomorrow, so I'm going to sign off. I will write again later on this week, probably Wednesday night after kickboxing. I'm always on a "high" when I get home from working out.

Have a blessed day. If you haven't started yet...if you are procrastinating and thinking you'll "start on Monday" or "start next time" or "start later"...stop it. You can do that for a VERY LONG time before you realize you are even deeper into unhealthy habits and you have MORE weight to lose.

Join me. Let's get healthy together. IF I CAN DO THIS, SO CAN YOU! I am nobody "special". I just decided to do it, and now I am.

xo - andrea

Blog ONE: My 12-Month Countdown!

This year, 2010, I'm going to lose 100 pounds. That is my goal. I am going to change this unhealthy body into a healthy body. The girl who has always been chubby, who has yo-yo dieted way too much over the years, and who has found great comfort in unwholesome, harmful food, is going to change her life around.

And I am inviting you all to share in the journey with me.

Note: Not every blog entry of mine is going to be this long; however, I feel that I need to establish some background for you to understand where I am coming from. So please, read at your own pace, and don't worry if you need to take a bathroom or any other kind of break in the middle. I will forgive you for leaving my exciting, lively, passionate blog to go do something else until you feel the pull to come back.

Another note: I am also posting pictures. I decided not to post "bikini" or "bathing suit" pictures for a few reasons. #1. Later in this blog I will reveal my weight to all of you. That is taking all the courage I have for today. #2. You can still see my problem areas in these pictures with fitted clothing on. I've realized clothes don't hide EVERYTHING (WHAT? I don't look like I'm 130 pounds in this dress??!?!) and #3. I don't want those roley-poley pictures to be available to everyone in the world when I'm on some talk show about my music in the future. Although, I may give them freely at that point, I don't know. The point is that I DECIDE! =)

Wow...2009....what a year I am emerging from. There are some things from this past year that I can't fully let go of...like the tragic passing of BOTH of my lovely parents: Dad from an aneurysm, and less than 4 months later, Mom from cancer. I am still grieving. I didn't realize what a process grieving would be and what an emotional rollercoaster my family and I would be living on day in and day out. My parents are a big part of me, and there will be days that I write about them more. I just wanted to put it out there first and foremost that I love and miss them dearly, that I think of them every day, and that part of why I am embarking on this journey is because of what I've learned from my beautiful mom about health and organic eating and weight-loss. I know they will look down on me so proud of what I am doing this year.

Food

I am a pretty self-aware woman. I have had a lot of time to think about myself and ponder my reactions to life and people and circumstances. I cannot count how many times this past year I have drowned my sorrow in food. I have this love/hate relationship with food. I LOOOOVE the taste. I love the textures. I enjoy the pleasure that I feel when I'm eating McDonald's fries with mayo or a box of cookies or a carton of ice cream or a bag of chips. It feels GOOD. But this past year (and many other times during my life), every time I raced home excited from work to be alone and eat those things while plunking myself down on the couch and not moving for the rest of the night to get seconds, thirds, fourths...til whatever I was eating was polished off...the excitement faded into this "UGH WHAT AM I DOING TO MYSELF???" feeling afterwards.

I'm sure everyone in North America has felt that at some point, whether it's once a year after big Christmas dinners or whether it's a daily feeling. I know I'm not alone in that. Personally, I have dealt with this feeling over and over again throughout my life. And, I hate to admit, I have come to that "ugh" thought pretty much every day throughout the past year. And every time I felt like that, soon after came the thought, "Sooner or later, I'm going to have to change this if I'm every going to be happy, and if I'm going to not have a heart attack". Sometimes at night, I would pray that God would keep my physical heart safe until I got up the strength to start eating healthily. I PRAYED I WOULDN'T HAVE A HEART ATTACK.

The past 10 days or so, my hands have been falling asleep while I'm sleeping. I wake up and they are fully asleep. It is a VERY SCARY feeling. The feeling in my hands comes back slowly as I wake up and move them around and rub them together a bit. I type notes for hard of hearing college students for work, and I'm also a pianist and singer. My hands are my livlihood in every way. I thought that maybe I was just laying on my hands in a funny way...but every night? I came to the realization that my blood circulation is probably a bit low right now. All I've done for the past month (being on Christmas break from work) is chill, relax, veg, and eat (and eat and eat and eat and eat and eat).

The realization that I am 28 years old and haven't taken care of my body for so long and that physical problems COULD happen to me is what kicked my butt into gear this week.

Kickboxing

Wednesday night (two nights ago), I went to a kickboxing gym that I had never been to before. I used to kickbox a few years ago in my hometown, but moving closer to Toronto, I hadn't found a gym up until this point (hadn't really tried very hard to do so, either!) I talked to a friend about how one workout I actually enjoy is kickboxing. I HATE running on a treadmill, I DREAD going to a normal gym, and I LOATHE workout videos. (Hey, I'm being honest here!) But when I'm kickboxing, I'm thinking about how my form looks, targeting the bags or pads, and whether the punch I just threw would actually really hurt someone if I got the chance to hit them in the face (hey, it's better to think that then "This is exercise, I hate it, it sucks"......isn't it?)

The friend I mentioned the boxing to just conveniently had a membership to a boxing gym near to where I live, and also had a free week pass for a for a friend. I had no excuse not to go. I was very, very, very nervous about going for the first time. I haven't worked out in MONTHS. Over the summer 2009 while renovating our parents' home after their passing away, I got pretty agile. An "Andrea" type of agile...not an Olympic athlete type of agile. There is a difference, unforunately (which is why I'm sitting here writing a blog instead of getting ready to compete in the 2010 Winter Olympic Games! That, and I have a 100 pounds to lose!). But when I started back to work in the fall, and started just sitting around eating after we were done the renovations, I lost all of that agility, and gained a lot of weight.

So...I bit the bullet and went to the kickboxing gym. And I liked it. A LOT. It felt so good to DRIP SWEAT. It also helped that there were quite a few cutie guys there (who were also friendly!). My sister said to me the other night, "Maybe you will meet your husband there". I found that quite amusing, because it would be pretty ironice for ME....the LAZY-ish one, the one who generally HATES to work out...to meet my husband at a GYM of all places! Oh man, I am laughing right now. It will probably happen "just because". That's how life is. I am still sore tonight from the workout, but I did it. Did my arms start to ache during WARMUP?? YES! And I was laughing to myself thinking, "This is so pathetic...we haven't even started the workout yet!" Was I agile? Nope. Was I a kickboxing star? Heck, no. Was I breathing so hard I thought I was going to pass out a couple times? Sadly, yes. But I made it through the entire class, and no one laughed at me. No one stared at me and said, "Look at that chubby chick trying to get into shape!" (And if they did, I didn't hear it, and it's a good thing considering I was practicing my right hook!)

My Secret (weight)

Okay, so the moment of truth. When I moved to this area a few months ago, my scale handily ran out of batteries and I just kept on forgetting to get a new battery...darn. So for the past few months I have not weighed myself. I have just started wearing a different "style" of clothing, which does not include jeans (and for those of you who don't get it....it's cause they don't fit!)

Are you ready for this?? I weighed in yesterday at a WHOPPING 317 pounds!!!! AAGHHGH! WHAT?!??! ME?!?! 317 POUNDS?? First of all, I can't believe I just told you that on a public blogging site. Secondly...only the people on "The Biggest Loser" weigh 317 pounds, and many of them not even that much! (On a side note, this year I would sit and watch that show, eating chips or cookies or McDonald's and text my friend and say, "Wow...I am brutal...I am watching "The Biggest Loser" while stuffing my face with bad food right now").

Anyway, tomorrow I am weighing in again. Let's hope it's not 317 pounds. And please...have some respect. This is OUR SECRET. Don't tell anyone what I weigh!

So for those of you who are really bad at math, and don't have a calculator handy, my goal is 217 pounds by the end of 2010. Yes, 217 still sounds like a lot, but my main goal is to be HEALTHY and energetic. Please also remember that I am 5'11", I have a very muscular build (and no, that is not the same thing as saying "I'm big-boned"), but I am also big-boned (haha), and another goal of mine is to break into the plus-sized modeling industry (size 12-14) after I lose the 100 pounds. So I can't be a complete skinny-minny. I have to admit, too, I like curves. And so do many men over 35 years old, I've realized!

Today I received an order of organic fruits and vegetables from an organic company that delivers in the GTA (Greater Toronto Area). It was exciting. Although, there is one root kinda thingy that is completely foreign to me (don't know what to use it in, don't know what it's called?), and a bag FULL of beets (what the HECK am I going to do with beets, for crying out loud?)...but other than that, it was exciting.

HEALTH CAN BE EXCITING! I am in a COMPLETELY different mindset than 2 days ago, before I went to that kickboxing class. I feel in control. Weird. I have only controlled my eating and workout habits for 2 days, and I already feel more excitement and control over my life. There are things in life that you can't control...like losing loved ones, like the weather, like other people's reactions and feelings, and like your physical disposition. But you CAN control what you eat.

All it takes is the first step. Getting up off that couch, clenching your jaw (not too hard!), putting your fears behind you, and going that kickboxing gym where you know no one, where you feel totally out of place, like an intruder in "healthyland"...it's a big step. I know. I did it. And so can you. And even if you are slim but you eat like a little piggy, 2010 can be a healthier year for you as well. Just because you don't pack on the pounds like some people (yours truly), doesn't mean your heart and arteries and liver and blood won't thank you for giving them some nutrients and vitamins and good 'ol exercise once in awhile!

Thanks for reading. I'm excited to be on this journey. Well...today I'm excited. I might have down days: in fact, I'm SURE I will. But I'm going to be honest with you every step of the way. And I hope you stick in there with me! (Even though I called you a little piggy).

xo - andrea