Daddy

Two years ago today, I decided to take my dad out for his 60th birthday. And I wanted to make it good. We didn't spend a whole lot of time together alone (my brother and dad were closer and I chatted and hung out with my mom more often), so I wanted to take him out on a "date". We went to the Keg for dinner and then went to see STOMP (a very cool show that you should definitely go see if you get the chance). We had a really good time.

Today, I am deeply greatful that we did that. Last year on January 7th, my dad passed away....20 days before his 61st birthday.

Today would've been his 62nd.

My Facebook status today is: "daddy, i went kickboxing for your birthday and kicked butt. you would be so proud. i miss you with all my heart."

And by the way - I did kick butt at kickboxing tonight. It was amaaaazing and I think about 3 of the instructors complimented me on my form and how hard and solid my punches were. I also went into the boxing ring to "fight" but this guy just had padding on his head and a few other areas, and just let us punch him and I HATED IT. I am WAY TOO NICE TO PUNCH PEOPLE. In fact, I only punched about 1/4 of how hard I really do throw 'em with that poor guy in the ring. I looked into his eyes and he looked so beat upon and I just...wow I could never be a boxer!

The only other time I actually punched a person was when I was playing soccer when I was about 7 years old. My dad was my coach, and this kid was teasing me (probably about being chubby, because that is pretty much the only thing kids bugged me about in those days). So I punched him. He went crying to his mommy (I hope he grew out of that!), and she came over and said to my dad (the Coach), "You better talk to your daughter". So my dad pulled me aside, bent down on his knee (cause I wasn't 5'11" then like I am now!), and "talked to his daughter". He said, "Good girl, Andrea!" I smile when I think about that because he ALWAYS wanted me to succeed, to stand up for myself, to be confident....to punch people when they deserved it.

My dad would also give us money and say, "Don't tell Mom". He was cute.

And that is how I feel tonight. I wanted to just honour him because I know that even though sometimes he and I butt heads, it was usually because he was telling me something I didn't want to hear but it was also usually him wanting to see me succeed. He just didn't always say it in the way that worked the best with me.

But....he wanted me to reach the stars, hold onto them, and let them carry me towards every single thing I ever desired in life: confidence, health, a thinner body, a husband and family, and music.

And now I am reaching for those stars. Sometimes it feels like a big stretch, but I'm doing it, and one day will grab hold of them. And I KNOW he'd be so proud. In fact, I think in heaven he's allowed to look down and see all of this...so let me rephrase and say that I KNOW HE IS PROUD.

He'd say, "Good girl, Andrey".

Happy birthday, Daddy. I love and miss you.

xo - andrea