Disappointed

Well it's been almost a week since I last wrote. Last night, a friend said, "When are you going to write another blog??" so I realized that if she was missing them, I'm sure MILLIONS (no exaggeration) of people are as well. =)

Why am I disappointed? I'm disappointed because I was so rushed on the weekend constantly, that I not only DID NOT lose any weight, but I gained 0.2 lbs. Now, 0.2 lbs is like....a gulp or two of water....but when you compare it to the fact that I wanted to LOSE 2-3 pounds, it was disappointing.

I didn't go kickboxing on Friday because I went to enjoy a friend's play, and I don't regret it (had a very fun night!) but it was WAY too easy to justify not going on Monday, either, because I was so exhausted from the weekend. Am I really getting older in the way that I can't just stay up til 4:30am (which I did Friday night) and catch up in one day? Cause I think I JUST caught up, and it's Wednesday.

My weakness: CHEESE. I think that's what's doing it, too. I gotta start weighing it. SO EASY to justify how big the piece is that I cut off.

There are times during the week where I'm home alone (if I'm home, I'm alone, cause I live by myself!), and I am cooking something healthful, and thinking, "Wow....I am such a loser. I don't go ANYWHERE during the week!" But then I remember that this year is for ME. If I had a husband and kids to care for right now, this journey would be all the more exhausting and tough. I'd also have built-in accountability people (kids are always the most honest!), but that's what my program counselors are there for.

SO - I weigh in again today. I'm back on track now from my few days of detour. I didn't eat cake or cookies or anything, but it was all the little extras like not measuring salad dressing or counting it as a fat, and eating too much starch (I think it was the WHITE RICE and the WRAP that did me in!)

And I AM GOING KICKBOXING TONIGHT. No excuses. And I know I'm going to be much happier afterwards. I will fall into bed exhausted and still feel that elated feeling that always comes from working out, and I'll feel proud of myself.

However, on a more upbeat note, I am happy to report that I watched "The Biggest Loser" and ate a PEAR while doing it instead of the fries or chips or cookies or ice cream I used to eat while watching it. That made it a much happier and less guilty experience for me.

I will keep you posted (which is what blogging and following a blog is all about, I suppose!). I want my next title not to be in the "Disappointed" category, but more in the "I'm SO FREAKING PROUD OF MYSELF" category.

Okay - so...I'm back on track. Keep sending me emails and comments: I LOVE THEM. They encourage me, and make me realize that 1. I'm not alone in this fight and 2. People are proud of me and 3. People are actually reading this and I'm not sending this blog off into a world of computer nothingness, never to be seen by anyone.

xo - andrea