Sickie...

Well - I can't tell you "Wow! I've lost 20 pounds now!" cause I haven't, and I'm not going to lie. I'm a little bit off track. I haven't gained any back, and I am more agile and feel healthier than I have in over a year (because of boxing and the 12 pounds I HAVE lost so far!). The eating is very tough, though. I have been sick, so standing at the stove cooking hasn't been top priority for me.

That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it. haha...

I will be back, though! I will write this Friday or Saturday. And I will be better and have more energy and cooking a lot healthier meals!!

Thanks for sticking with me=)

xo - andrea

I'm not scared anymore...

I had another AMAZING gig on Friday night. It was wonderful! And I had a magnificent response. There are some things in action right now with music, and I'm really really...well, both honoured and excited.

In only 5 practices, 2 performances, and 12 (less) pounds, I feel more confident in my music and ability singing and MYSELF than ever.

I have butterflies in my tummy about this whole thing. I was even talking to a girlfirend about visiting California in April just to get away and see some sunshine. She mentioned that she'd be interested in going with me. And I said to her, "We should book it soon and then we can try to book a few singing gigs while we're there". WHAT ANDREA IS SAYING THIS? A new one, that's for sure. The 2-months-ago Andrea, who sat on her couch and cried and ate bad food all day and watched endless movies and didn't want to go out ANYWHERE or see ANYONE (everything was a huge effort), would NEVER say..."Let's try and get a gig in california while we're visiting!" I would've been too scared.

But I'm not scared anymore. Wow.

xo - andrea

sunshine & hope

okay - i have been up and down for the past week or so. i don't know what is wrong with this woman! i know part of it was the convenience of buying food that is already-made. i am not a cook...well, not a good one. haha. i still get asked by my brother-in-law if i can make my "signature smoked salmon" after forgetting about it on the stove one day and ending up with a black piece of charcoal that smoked up the kitchen. but i CAN do this. i am SO SCARED to go weigh-in. i know i might have gained a couple of pounds back. agggghhh...so not good!!!

but today i am excited. why? first of all, it's sunny outside and semi-warm! well, warm for canada in march! secondly, i met with my website design chick and we went over a whole new look for my performance section of my music! i'm PUMPED about this. all-in-all, the whole thing motivates me even more to continue on my weight-loss journey and not lose sight of why i am doing this. yes, it's for a longer, healthier life. but, it's also for a more ENJOYABLE life. the things i want right now, which mostly includes going somewhere fantastic with my music, will be so much more attainable if i am at a healthy weight.

it will take about a month for the new website to go up, but when it does...you watch out. you're gonna be blown away by how beautiful it's going to be!

also, thank you to those of you who have emailed me this week. i have gotten a few emails from women who don't even live near me, who are connecting with my journey, and on the same journey themselves. i love hearing from you. me inspiring you inspires me. =)

sunshine & hope - andrea

Music!

Helloooo....

Although one of the main reasons I want to lose weight is for my health, another VERY important reason is because of my music/singing. I want to reflect a good image - a healthy image. I will never be Brittany Spears thin, but I want to be on the low end of plus-sized modeling type of body structure. This will help me feel energetic on stage, confident both in front of people and when talking to them and representing myself as a singer, and more flexible in photo shoots and promotional materials.

I sang on Thursday night at "The Opera House" in Toronto. It felt SO AMAZING being on stage again. My acoustic guitar player was fantastic, as was my hand-drummer...we sounded good, and I know it. The industry reps really liked my voice, but they encouraged me to perform more, write some more songs that could be hits, and (after I mentioned the losing weight journey I am on), agreed that image is really important as well.

I've posted a few pictures of the gig.

I realized that this year has to be very very focused. i am pretty much the biggest procrastinator and chill person out there. I CAN work hard, and I have all my life in SOME aspects. But sometimes, when i have time off, it's hard for me to get into "work" mode, rather than "relax" mode. So....I have to really focus on writing music and losing weight. It really helps me when i write things down, I've found. Lists, of sorts. Then if they are not crossed off, I realize I haven't done what I needed to do in that day or week.

I really really really want to go somewhere with my music. There are SO many things I'd be good at. I could be a teacher, I could get into aesthetics, I could get into marketing or advertising. I'm smart, I'm pretty, I'm outgoing, I'm generally good with people. And I could make good money doing any of those things. HOWEVER...what I REALLY and TRULY want is to travel with my music. To be on Ellen and Oprah and Much Music. To travel the world and do gigs with a fantastic amazing band and fans loving and connecting with me and my music. And to sing a duet with Michael Buble (watch - it will happen).

I have to at least try. If when I turn 30 (in 2 years) it has not happened, and no one has caught on to my music, and industry reps are not interested still, after I have the fan base, an amazing album, and the performing experience.....I will step back and decide if this is what i really want.

But I have this sneaking suspicion about two things: 1. If I don't try with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength this year, I will always regret it and wonder if I could've been something great. And 2. If I DO put everything I have into it this year, it WILL go somewhere and i won't be disappointed.

Gig tonight - down 12.2 pounds!

Well, I just wanted to let you all know that I'm performing at a showcase tonight in Toronto, and it's the first time I've really performed in a LONG WHILE. Last year was a real write-off for a lot of things, including my drive to do music. Tonight I'll be singing 5 original songs, and plus one of my favourite covers, "Summertime".

I'm VERY nervous, but even MORE excited. I feel good about myself (remember how I didn't want to weigh in the other day? It turns out, I'm down 12.2 pounds total! yay!), and I feel good about my music. I have a ton more energy, which I'll write to you about in another post.

I am also feeling a twinge of sadness that my mom and dad aren't here to share in my excitement. So many times over the last week or so I've gone to call my mom and then realized...she is not there. It is hard...and it's also disappointing feeling like everything "happy" in life, every achievement, every milestone, every excitement...will be tinged with some sadness because I'm missing them and wishing they were here to share in it.

Tonight..this is for you, Mom and Dad. I know you're smiling down on me...oh-so-proud.

xo - andrea

Off-track

Oh brother. Well, last week was a bit of a write-off. I only had time to workout once, I didn't feel like eating at all, and it was just a hard week. Still no battery for my scale, so since I didn't go weigh-in with my program counselor, I don't know if I've lost or gained or stayed the same, but I FEEL pretty good this week, so I'm guessing I've maintained.

I DID go kickboxing last night - there was barely anyone there last night since it was a "holiday" (Family Day), but I did tell a very cute guy that he had really really nice arms. It was the first time I've ever seen him smile!

I will keep you posted! Sorry for being off-track. I better get my butt in gear. The second month of 2010 is over half-way done!

xo - andrea

I'm SO FREAKING PROUD OF MYSELF!!

Okay - so I did it!!! I was SOOO disappointed on Monday because I had gained 0.2 pounds over the weekend instead of losing some. But I lost 3 pounds from Monday til Wednesday, and then another 0.8 from Wednesday to today! I am now past my first 10 pounds=) I've lost a total of 10.8 pounds in 4 weeks!!!!

ONLY 89.2 pounds left to lose this year! (Sounds much better than 100, doesn't it???)

It's a nice healthy pace and I feel better. I am going kickboxing again tonight!

YAAAAAAAY. Now all that hard work measuring pecans for a serving of fat and cooking CONSTANTLY to get enough protein feels WORTH IT!

Oh - and remember how I told you my sister said I'd probably meet my husband at the gym? Well I'm not sure if I met my husband (hard to know after two sentences), but I had a really really sweet and nice run-in with a guy who just kept SMILING at me as I was leaving the gym. He was warm and sweet. We'll see if I ever bump into him again!

xo - andrea

PS. How is everyone doing on their health journey in 2010? If you haven't started, NOW IS THE TIME. What are you waiting for??